David Spade has officially entered the War on Christmas, and spoiler alert, he’s already funnier than everyone else involved.
In a now-viral clip, Spade roasted a mall that allegedly refused to say the word “Christmas,” treating it like it’s Voldemort, Beetlejuice, and a copyright violation all rolled into one. According to Spade, this wasn’t holiday sensitivity; it was “rampant Christian persecution.” And yes, he said it with that signature Spade delivery where you can’t tell if he’s joking, serious, or just two lattes deep and annoyed.
The mall’s big offense? Opting for a vague “holiday” phrasing instead of simply acknowledging the one season 98% of the decorations, music, movies, cookies, and retail profit margins are based on. You know, Christmas. The thing with the tree, the lights, Santa, ornaments, peppermint everything, and Mariah Carey screaming at us like our alarm didn’t go off.
Spade, to his credit, called the whole thing out with more common sense than most corporate PR departments can muster.
His message:
If you’re gonna deck your halls with red and green, blast “Jingle Bells,” and shove mall Santas in every corner, maybe go ahead and say the word Christmas without treating it like contraband.
Here in Wyoming? Folks say “Merry Christmas” so freely you half-expect the elk to chime in. A mall trying to police the word out of existence wouldn’t last five minutes; someone in line at the boot store would unionize the entire food court just to put up a Nativity scene.
So yes, I fully support David Spade in this extremely serious crusade to protect Christmas from mall management. If anyone’s going to save the season, it’s the man who once survived Grown Ups 2 and still had the emotional strength to joke about it.
Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays, and God bless comedians for saying what everyone else is tired of pretending not to notice.
AntlersArch founder and the voice behind Teton Tattle.
